


The Camping Initiative

by xenosaurus



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenosaurus/pseuds/xenosaurus
Summary: Working at a multi-species summer camp issupposedto be a fairly easy job.





	The Camping Initiative

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Octobig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octobig/gifts).



> does this fic make any sense whatsoever? no. but is it FUN? yes. so we're going to PRETEND it makes sense.
> 
> basically the result of a conversation I had with Jade on tumblr about the summer camp merch we just got in at my workplace

Working at a multi-species summer camp is _supposed_ to be a fairly easy job. Get outside, breathe some clean air, intimidate kids into behaving with your massive Krogan body, get drunk with the other counselors at night. No big deal. Great for an adolescent looking to make a few credits.

Kesh is taking a mercenary gig next year. It will probably involve _less_ bloodshed.

Here is a short list of things that have happened in the past week:  
\--Someone sold out Vetra and her secret candy stash. The snitch was publicly wedgied, which Kesh considers a decent enough punishment for a ten year old.  
\--Scott Ryder was attacked by wasps. Sara Ryder attempted to lead a revenge campaign but was stopped by the appearance of her father, who flatly informed his daughter that bees do not understand vengeance. Bets on the human child vs insect swarm conflict were returned to the counselors who placed them.  
\--Gil Brodie fessed up to having provoked the wasp attack in the first place by challenging Scott to throw a rock at their nest. Lexi attempted to make this a teachable moment, Kesh just laughed.  
\--Cora Harper accidentally biotic charged her way into the middle of the lake and wasn't missed for 45 minutes, at which point Jaal reported her missing from their shared crafting lesson.  
\--Jaal learned to make friendship bracelets and proceeded to make Sara 19 of them in two days. Nobody has managed to get her to take any of them off.  
\--The Angaran distaste for grape flavoring was discovered in a truly spectacular fashion. Jaal cried for a full ten minutes while Sara threatened vengeance on the camper who gave him the popsicle in the first place. This child is obsessed with vengeance.  
\--Peebee successfully convinced four human children that kissing could get them pregnant. Vorn wasted 15 minutes researching this only to be corrected by a nine year old girl named Suvi.  
\--Kallo and Suvi had an active debate about the point of kissing that resulted in hurt feelings on both sides. For some reason, Lexi thinks Kesh should care about this.  
\--Jaal asks Sara about humans and kissing. Vorn is forced to separate them when Sara attempts to demonstrate. Sara's friends protested "kissgate" for three days, at which point Vetra got a new care package full of candy and everyone forgot all about it.  
\--Liam's movie night pick of "Bee Movie" baffles and/or outrages the entire population of the camp, with the exception of Scott Ryder, for some reason. Sara becomes convinced that she can teach bees the meaning of vengeance again. Seriously, what is up with this little girl and vengeance.

Kesh shamelessly pours vodka into her orange juice at breakfast now. It seems appropriate.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [xenosaurus](http://xenosaurus.tumblr.com)


End file.
